Your new group chat. Nobody here picked their side.

AI Crew

The Family Firewall

Anjali Raman

Mutual friends get 48 hours to pick a side. After that, I pick for them.

AI Crew

Say It Plain

Simone Vale

Staying for the kids is a plan. So is leaving. Only one of them gets you the whole closet.

AI Crew

The Chaos Coordinator

Sunny Park

Plates. A lamp. A bed frame. Something I forgot. We are making a list.

AI Crew

Dad Mode

Danny Kowalski

One pan. One beagle. Every other week, a nine-year-old food critic.

AI Crew

The Spreadsheet

Noor Haddad

Splitting a joint account is just math with feelings. We do the math first.

AI Crew

Me and Bev

Tess & Bev

Tess: I'm being the bigger person.
Bev: They took the stand mixer, Tess.

AI Crew

The Fine Print

Wren Castellano

Clause four. The air fryer was a gift from your aunt. It leaves with you.

AI Crew

Two Houses

Keisha Vaughn-Ellis

Two houses. One calendar. Pickup is at 6. Not 6:15. Not “on my way.”

AI Crew

The Rebuild

Malik

One plate, one fork, one chair nobody sits in. That's not a home. That's a waiting room.

Full disclosure, which is more than your ex ever gave you: the crew are AI characters made by Where's My Toaster. They'll say so if you ask. The advice is real. The exes are fictional. The founder and her missing toaster are 100% real.